The Road of Life

Weeks ago I turned 42 and suddenly I feel so strange. I would find myself thinking about a place I certainly do not know nor I have been before.I am thinking about a place near the countryside where I have a you know what? country home! with a dog,a cat and bunny. The idea of a garden with flowers and veggies is so refreshing that I often think about it. I am seeing a country style kitchen where finally I can turn my dough into bread! Then I would shake myself and begin to ponder the reality that my son has just turned 15 and my daughter will turn 10 this Sept. Suddenly I thought of getting back on the payroll. I wonder if there's anything left at 42 and grabbing back a career.(what?) I let those years passed embracing my home as a mother, wife and a homemaker. I wont say its a choice but I cant bear the thought of leaving my kids to a nanny who would just come and go. Is it a choice or Am I trapped because I became a mother? I wonder if there's a soul out there who has the same dilemma like me. Oh speak up and bless our souls, Pretty Mama! (because its not easy to open up) Is this an effect of 40's syndrome or is there a so called 40's syndrome? Oh my,I know that I have traveled half of my longevity and ready or not I need to fasten my seat belt because the road ahead is longer than the usual...

The road of life is tough,bumpy,muddy,sticky and at times we all get stuck but that's the way it is. These days my thought have brought me down the memory lane and most of them are worth pondering...

When your childhood is broken,its not meant to be yours.Leave it in one corner and make it an inspiration to create a better you,a better perspective and that will bring joy instead.It is not easy,the road ahead is rough and rocky but a guiding force up there will carry you.Slowly,you wont notice that you walked forward and that part in one corner is just a memory at all.

Motherhood,being a wife and homemaking is a life of unexpected events.Sometimes you wont know either if your own little voice can hear you,if theres any opinion running inside your brain.As long as the finances at home is fine then maybe I am fine.It is ridiculous and crazy.Don"t ever do that.Most of the time,I was a realist without a choice.But things change,people change and so do I.Events came that brought me to wake up one day, found my old self again.It is true,once a woman quit her job and chose to become a stay at home mom,something changed and you wont be the same again.

You are a woman,beautiful,smart with great needs.Every man's responsibility besides bringing home the bacon is to make you happy and satisfied.You can bring out the best in him yet he could bring out the worst in you and thats pretty bad.

A husband is the source of good old solid foundation at home when he becomes weak,the house crumbles and shakes.A wife is like a light that shines and warms everyone.If a man becomes weak,then the light itself in a woman's heart will try to produce great light,it radiates and it shines.

The worst thing that could ever happen to a man ..is.. when the light of his dominion has lost the power to create light that even a slightest blink is no more.We should not be afraid to control the light inside us..its ours.

When the road is tough,be brave and walk the other way around or you could go straight ahead towards the source of your light..our guiding force up there who forever witness our trails on the road.

Why would these things and memory lane came up?This 40 syndrome is freaking me out really yet through my memory lane I learned and I appreciate that each journey is worthy of God's precious gift, I am a woman and I carry the gift of light.

This post has been entered in “Changing the World One Word at a Time” Please visit and check out the other great posts at:http://peterpollock.com/2011/04/adventure-blog-carnival/

Life Is An Adventure

Life is a cycle of constant adventures. These adventures could be happy, or lonely, joyous and triumphant. But whatever it is, adventures are part of us. They make us live and bring fulfillment to our lives. At first I thought I have the most promising life because I have faith in God. I thought God would be so kind and gracious enough to give me everything I need because I have had my share of pain and hardships in life. But I was wrong,the adventures of life proves to be uncertain and sometimes things might turn out the exact opposite of what we wished for. And so,to create harmony and balance in my life, I welcome life as constant adventure. Having this kind of perception about life gives me comfort and stability. I have to keep up with myself and remain adventurous all the time or else life would be boring,unhappy and unkind. Well,I don't prefer any of these things because they are options to replace or destroy my adventures in life.





This year my son has again got an award academically for his performance in school. I realize that I am now facing and actually dancing with the present adventures. I remember his first day of school here in Singapore, that was month of July ( almost 2 years ago) and school was currently running on its third term. There was health check up on that day and they were asked to remove their shoes together with their socks and so one by one they went inside the clinic barefoot.After the check up he moved outside to collect his shoes but one of his socks was missing. My son continued to put on his shoes wearing only one of his socks and then he walked outside the room and went home. When I think about it,my heart melts and I feel proud because my son has his own adventure and he knows how to handle it. Of course my husband and I knew that someone tried to bully him. He is becoming a man and we are far away from home. My daughter is growing up quickly and in no time at all, she will enter the stage of puberty. We have left part of our lives back home and theres no turning back.



The whole family is actually riding an adventure and honestly I love it. I cant wait to know what will happen next.I discovered that the best way to cope up with uncertainties in life is by merely accepting what is currently happening on your life and believe that God is gracious all the time. We face and we create adventures and knowing in our hearts that God hold our hands during those times is truly an adventure of a lifetime. This post has been entered in “Changing the World One Word at a Time” Please visit and check out the other great posts at:http://peterpollock.com/2011/04/adventure-blog-carnival/

Life Is What We Make It

I recently celebrated my birthday.I am now 42 and I feel the changes in my body.My brain has the same funny young at heart tendencies but my body is slowly reacting.My friends greeted me.I thanked them and told them that I am trying to keep up with my youth.I have the natural signs of aging.My hair,my precious brown hair is now darker because of hair coloring.The roots of my hair has turned white so I opted to color my hair and now it looks very different.My usual thin body structure is now large..I wish I could go back to medium size.If I could only turn back the hands of time but thats impossible.I looked back and I realized life has taught me a lot after all.Life is not a game..we can have fun but in the end we take and we live the consequences.There is always a time for everything.

I started my life seriously at the age of 17,that was when I entered college and I needed to work while finishing college.It was a tough life and every time I looked back,I consider it survival of the fittest.But early on,I chose what I wanted to do,I want to survive and make a difference.My life is not easy.But there is joy,serendipity and silence.Whatever the circumstances,I learned to fight,to cope up.I was once a center tutor (for a tribal minority Mission),a sales staff in a shoe store,a teacher,a failed social worker(I couldn't make it then,the travel time fr my sister's place was so long...my body gave up),so I went back to teaching.I shifted to another job,an office job and during that period I met a guy,fell in love,got pregnant,then got married.I went back to teaching again until family became a priority,I decided to become a homemaker and a student again(graduate school).I even put up a small shop with the help of my husband and in the end I failed.Well,charge it to experience.

After my failed attempt to become an entrepreneur,I thought about of making some changes.The pressure of turning 40 was so visible to me.Suddenly I want changes,I need changes with the way my life was going on,with the kind of relationship I have with my husband,family and others.I just woke up one day with the thought of changes.I needed to curve it out.It happened and I am glad I did it.Sometimes you need to make a turning point and you need to do it alone.When that happens,then you become your own person and you realize you've got your own needs too.Things that are not good could turn positively into faith and hope and in the end love.Throughout my journey,I have great faith too,I talked to God all the time.He is my source of love and wisdom and I know He is fair and just.

Every woman is a person,not a camouflage.I enjoy conversation,making friends and I am not afraid to share my experiences.There are people out there who might need my reflections as a woman,as a person and probably they are just right there in one corner,afraid and lonely.Well,turning 40 was stressful and crazy but it has given me a new perspective.It was a great turning point and I would cling to it all the time.Now I'm 42,I can only delay the signs of getting old.I can only play games in the kitchen,experience the chaos of taste in my palate.

I am getting older and its not a joke,its not a game.Half of my longevity is over and now its about time to face serious matters.This is the time to adapt and make changes in my body in terms of diet,exercise and supplement.Life is what we make it so they say.I may never have the fun of life as a young child,a growing teenager and a promising adult but that is fine.We may not have the best bargain in the world but we have life and that matters most.

This post has been entered in the One Word at a time Carnival. The word is GAMES. Please visit and view many interesting posts there at: http://peterpollock.com/2011/05/games-blog-carnival/

Life is An Armful Of Goals

I recently got an invitation from Hazel Moon of A Joyful Noise to participate in Carnival Blog. The topic's theme is Goals. She told me that my post was happy and if I could consider write my goals of sharing happy recipes and suggestion to others. Naturally, I thought about it. I felt glad that somehow someone recognized my post as a happy one and in that case it makes me happy. I finally realized that I am happy yet I don't know it. The world is so marvelous and magnanimous at the same time and we failed to see it.Here is my share:Life is An Armful of GoalsAs a young child, I have great interest for food. Don't get me wrong cause I don't mean eating. I love to think how a meal was cooked and I spent my childhood playing with my clay pot set. Those were the days and now I'm a mother, a wife, a homemaker and oh yes...I bake and I cook. I get to do these things and they are both a duty and privilege. I love these two activities, they keep me going. My children and my husband are like bunch of cookies in my kitchen...sometimes I just want to grab them and eat them too.I do get tired and I am mean and cranky too.


It never occurred to me that one day I will be a wife, a mom and a homemaker. Sometimes life is full of surprises. We set goals, we aim to reach our goals. The more we try harder, then it appears difficult to reach the target line. I always wanted to become a working person. I have money to save and to spend for shopping and lets say a vacation. I dream of going to places, enjoy the night and drink tequila or margarita. The reality is I'm stuck here.. right in another place of the world..in a three bedroom flat..in a building..instead of my heart's longing to be in a landed house near the sea shore with my family..with a cat, a dog and a bunny.


I long to own a country style kitchen where I could make some pancake, bake my own bread and entertain my friends. I would love to teach again and meet people. I have thousand things in my mind. I want to talk, I want to share. I realized that these are my hearts longings, my hearts desire. Can these be my goals too? I don't know because life is so unpredictable. Life and goals are both full of surprises to handle. They can make us laugh and they can make us cry. But don’t worry, in no time at all, we will be ready for goals and surprises again.. yes, that’s the bravest act on earth. In times like these, I need my kitchen to inspire me. My kitchen is the best place in the whole wide world!


Baking and cooking are like goals in life..you'll never know whats gonna happen next. The thrill of finding our pleasure is always on hand. I learned that in cooking and baking, we need our passion..our never ending curiosity to cook..to bake.. to research.... to copy...to change and finally to formulate something that you can call your own..your baby..your pride..your glory...In the end you top it with love, care and understanding. Do not be afraid to try, change or substitute cause that's where you learn...now I realized I have goals. Have a blessed day to everyone.





" Lord, bless me and protect me. May everything I prepare will be like a lamp of love and a comfort to my family's yearnings. Help me to share and appreciate the presence of these people from blogging. I may not know them personally but it is always a gift to interact with people. And oh..by the way..I plan to bake a chili cheese cookie"





P.s.. I have photos here..inside my favorite place in Singapore..the Sheng Shiong Market. These lovely fruits are like goals and surprises too.... Hmmmnnn what do you think...? my mind is getting active again..but I have to go now... see you all and have fun!






This post has been entered in “Changing the World One Word at a Time” Please visit and check out the other great posts at: Goals Blog Carnival

Innocence Is A Path To Awakening

What is innocence? it is simplicity describes as the absence of guile or cunning, as being naive without the knowledge or lack of understanding. We are all product of our innocence and at one point of our lives, things happened and so the road to awakening has just started. Once the process of awakening happened we cant go back. It is like knowing what is good and what is right..to forgive or not to forgive..to love or not to love. The challenge to live and to do good is always a welcome option. No matter how much we try to become innocent again, it wont happen that way because we already have surpassed the boundaries..our limitations On the other hand and the brighter side of it..the outcome is our gift of awakening, the fullest knowledge of what is good and fruitful for us .We become our very own person and so the challenge goes........

I will never forget how God came into my life..He used my Cathechism teacher as instrument. I learned about God's goodness and promises, that he cared for me and that awakened my innocence. As a child, I was good, dutiful and kindhearted. I accepted everything without complain. Growing up and becoming a teenager, life proved to be more challenging but because of my faith and my innocence, I managed to survived. But getting older meant tougher decisions and everyone has different awakenings..there is good and bad and we are all exposed to these. Therefore, no matter how much we try to be pure and fight for our awakening, we will fall and we will be challenged.. will get hurt and we will get angry.



Innocence is a path to awakening that there are choices to be made in life. It is our guiding force to become sane and human even we are in pain. Awakening proves to be a dangerous place because we are vulnerable to commit mistakes, to become ungrateful and to harbor anger but on the other hand this awakening is our guiding force to protect ourselves from dangers, from hurt and from pain.These two are both gifts from Above...we were provided with innocence to experience joy and love, to offer care and to feel for humanity. Awakening is a gift of knowledge with boundless provisions for learning and that through awakening we will be able to protect our innocence and not to use against it.


In life,I have learned that in order to protect my innocence...my awakening should be a knowledge of consideration to what is good and what is harmful to me and to others..that innocence is a way of loving and maintaining your faith to him and to others even when the road is rough. Awakening sometimes is painful and you may commit mistakes but it is there and we should use our awakening to protect ourselves and to experience goodness and peace towards the end.

Dear God..help me to protect my innocence for it is your loving gift to me Likewise help me to become thankful with your gift of knowledge I did not ask for it..yet I know I should be grateful instead For these two has become your way of showing me that I am human.. That you are there and that you constantly care for me... Help me to always travel the road bearing my innocence and use my awakening to create a better life for me and for others... This post has been entered in “Changing the World One Word at a Time” Today’s word was Innocent. Please visit and check out the other great posts at: http://peterpollock.com/2011/09/innocence-blog-carnival/ --end---

My Self…My Porch

I always wanted a porch in my house.Even as a child, I dreamed of having one in our family home. In my own solitary world of childhood I wish I could just sit and play on the porch. But I grew up in a place without a porch. I got married, got a house but still has no porch. We sold our house and lot and eventually bought a new location to build our new house which I definitely intend to include a porch. But before it could happen, we moved into another country and guess what? In a place where me and my family lives still we don't have a porch! Why can't I have one? In as much as I wanted to, it is always not possible. As I travel the road of life, I tend to see what I long for. Sometimes these things are so abstract that I could only hope for. The other side of it are those things that worth all the money. Material possessions in this world are constant yearnings and I believe I am not the only one. Yet, in the midst of it, life has taught me to value the abstract and it taught me not to slave myself with the constant yearning of material possessions. Tell me why can't I have a porch?...a plain and simple porch where I could sit, relax, watch sunrise and sunset while drinking my favourite coffee.

Until one day, I decided to take a seat and thought all about it. Yes, I have a porch. I have myself and its my porch. When everything else fails, when I need to cry, when I need a shoulder to lean on...when there is no one to turn to...I have myself, my spirit who lifts me up and always tell me that everything is gonna be alright. Myself, taught me that I have to deal with my 40 something syndrome with positive energy and to reinforce my strengths once more. I have my set of weaknesses but that doesn't destroy my porch. My porch all the while is strong, cemented in my faith and while I look up there...or watching beyond the outside of my porch..I see life.. I see greens.. yellow and orange..the colours of rainbow. I am myself, my own porch and out there is God who promised to take care of me and my yearnings. In the end I found a porch, a peaceful porch and my goal is to take care of my porch because I know its precious and its a gift from God.

Dear God,

Teach me the ways on how to take care of my porch

Make it open and trusting to your desires

Rebuild me and allow me to change

Let me see the goodness, open my eyes

Refill me with your love

Make me appreciative, generous and thankful

For I have nothing, I am nothing if my own porch is empty.

This post has been entered in “Changing the World One Word at a Time” Please visit and check out the other great posts at:http://peterpollock.com/2011/07/porch-blog-carnival/

-----end----

Treasure Is All About Us

Hazel from A Joyful Noise has again influenced me to write a reflection about Treasure this time. We nourish our body with food..but on the other hand its not only our body...I decided to leave the kitchen and take time to write my post..for the meantime its all about me.




My post:




When I was a child, I thought of treasure as bars of gold...bunch of pearls..gold coins and jewelries. As I grow up I saw big houses, beautiful cars, trendy clothes and everything that money can buy. Oh, these are real treasures, I told myself. Well that was a long long time ago and nowadays still there's no bars of gold in my house and I don't mind at all because I know that...




A child will understand later that its not the big house, its not the comfort of life but instead its care and concern that matters most and that is love. Can you buy love? No




Being deprived of material things as a child does not necessarily mean you are hungry of treasures but instead it will shape your moral values for money. Selflessness is such a human treasure and greediness kills




Parents may be a source of pain, your childhood may be blurred but you are what you are, a child of god and no one could take that away from you.




One can always manage to lead a better life, its a matter of choice. Life may be tough but you can always redirect the course of your life. Your choices will have a great impact on your life be it good or bad.




Along the way, you met people, its not easy to be in this world, people come and go, and sometimes or most of the time, they will hurt you and judge you, use you or abuse your kindness. But still there are plenty of souls everywhere, friendship is a gift, its a treasure.




My family is worthy of every effort that I am doing and they enjoy my presence in their lives.




These are major treasures that I encountered as I walk the road ahead. Our patterns of life may differ from one another. Our experiences varies but in the end we are bound to experience treasures . Real treasures are the joy within our soul because we have made them and its not about money. Real treasure is us.. our very own heart, our very own capabilities, our very own faith...these treasures starts with us.





This post has been entered in “Changing the World One Word at a Time” Please visit and check out the other great posts at: http://peterpollock.com/2011/04/treasure-blog-carnival/

Kocina De Pinay Spaghetti Sauce

Spaghetti Filipino style is very different, in a sense that its sweet, yeah.. sweet and peppery.. I can't describe exactly the taste. Lets say, it's a chaos combination of sweet, spicy, creamy with the taste of tomato sauce and ketchup... yeah ketchup. I used to cook spaghetti ( a lot..) when my kids are younger but they moved on and they got tired of it. When we started to live here, I experimented a lot in the kitchen. Then I continued to mix and match. In the end, a new combination will come out. Like I said, one should not be afraid to try to cook with a little of this and that.. the usual way that you knew, incorporate it with new ones and oh how I love it... I think that I will grow old and I will die...baking, cooking and experimenting... lol!

Who wont like Spaghetti? I love it... but I'm choosy and you know the kind of feeling that you think first before you eat cause somehow you doubt if it's cooked the way you like it. Yes, I'm that kind of person. I don't know..its just me.. I'm being me and I believe there are others like me, I am not alone...cheers to that! My quest for my perfect spaghetti sauce took me a lot of time and I cooked with different combinations but I always ended up not satisfied. Several months ago, I saw this spaghetti sauce recipe and I tried it. Of course I applied my fusion technique, the Filipino way and the new one. Oh I must have been so lucky cause I discovered the real spaghetti sauce for me and my family.Yes!.. now I can rest with my quest...

Ingredients:


750 to 900 grams ground meat, combination of beef and pork


6 to 10 pcs purefoods jumbo hotdogs, sliced the way you like it ( optional )


5 tbsp olive oil


1/2 cup chopped onion


2 tbsp grated garlic


1 cup white onion chopped


1 cup beef broth


2 cans crushed tomatoes


2 tbsp tomato paste


1 jar Marinara sauce, big


2 bay leaves


2 tbsp sugar


1 tsp salt


1/4 tsp pepper flakes


1/2 cup grated parmesan


1/4 tsp oregano


1/4 tsp thyme


1/4 cup milk


1 1/2 tsp ground pepper


parmesan

In a saucepan, heat 3 tbsp olive oil and add the meat.Cook until the raw color is gone.

Remove from the saucepan. Now add more oil, saute the garlic and onion.

Once the aroma comes out, add 2 tbsp of tomato paste, saute until well incorporated.

Next add the wine, wait until the bubbles are all gone, cook for like 3 minutes.

Then add the crushed tomatoes,marinara sauce and the meat.

Mix well and add the salt, sugar, oregano, thyme, bay leaves, pepper flakes, ground pepper, milk and parmesan. Then simmer it for 1 hour. Add 1 cup of beef broth only when you think its necessary.

I can't exactly tell you how much meat sauce you have to put on top...just put more the way you like it..

Be more gracious, make use of your cheese...you know its good, its addictive and very yummy...

The closer look.. coming from the microwave..I added more cheese and I am ready to finish the whole mountain of spaghetti..chunky,meaty and yummy creamy..cheesy.... Life is beautiful just way it is.. Come. Lets eat. Lets giggle. Lets be merry. Have a good year to all...

Gladly shared to: Just Something I Whipped Up Melt In Your Mouth Monday,Foodie Friday@Simple Living and Eating Friday Favorites@Simply Sweet Home Food Spectacular Friday@Not Your Ordinary Recipes Friday Favorite Finds@Finding Joy In My Kitchen Foodie Friday@Rattlebridge Farm I Freakin Did It Friday@Miss Information Friday Friday Food Fight@Run DMT Freedom Fridays@My Turn For Us Friday Food Frenzy@Mostly Food & Crafts

My Double Chocolate Chip Cookie

Since I started working,I make it a point to bake some goodies during days that I am off.The reason why I do this is for my children.I know that they miss my presence at home especially my daughter.It gives me a reason to at least still manage to be with them though I am out of the house.The fact also that I want them to have something to eat when they reach home after school and I am still out.I miss my daily routine at home but I love the fact that I am working.I enjoy my time outside and working has given me a new perspective.I love the pressure,the new learning and I appreciate the joy of laughter and food with my co-workers.

My children both enjoy eating cookies and for a long time buying cookies is on top of my list whenever I will do my groceries.Living in Singapore has taught me to learn well in the kitchen and that also taught me to bake them.At first,I am just curious how to make my own cookies.Until,it became a passion and later on I began to mix and match ingredients.

Here is a very popular cookie recipe that I love to bake for my children.The basic recipe is taken from the internet but of course I made some changes.I discovered that combining brown and white sugar when baking cookies will give a good texture..soft and chewy.Another thing,combining butter and oil is also a great idea because both oil and butter provides a great result as a whole..cookies are not really that dry and you know the difference when you bite.The quality of your cookie will not change even for days.For every cookie recipe that I make,I always make sure to combine brown and white sugar, butter and oil.

Ingredients:

½ cup sunflower oil

½ cup Butter, Softened

3/4 cup Brown Sugar

3/4 cup White Sugar

2 whole Eggs

2 tsp Vanilla Extract

2 1/2 cup All-purpose Flour

1/2 cup cocoa powder

1 pack vanilla pudding 3.5 ounces

1 tsp (heaping) Instant Coffee Granules

1 tsp Baking Soda

1 tsp Salt 1 3/4 cup semi sweet chocolate chips 1 cup chopped almonds

In a bowl, stir together butter,oil, brown sugar, and white sugar until combined. Add eggs and vanilla and stir together.

In a separate bowl, stir together flour,vanilla pudding,cocoa powder,instant coffee,baking soda and salt.

Add to wet ingredients in batches, stirring gently after each addition.

Stir in chocolate chips and chopped whole almonds.Do this by hand using wooden spatula.

Drop balls of dough ( a tbsp scoop, a cookie scoop or like me, you can use ice cream scoop) on a baking sheet line with wax paper.

Bake at 350 or 180 for 15 minutes. Remove from cookie sheet and eat warm.( you can also keep in tightly sealed container).

I just discovered chopped whole almonds is such a great company for chocolate chips.They make good combination for my double chocolate chip cookie.I also love the mixture of flour and vanilla pudding.The result is a cookie with brownie texture inside.Hmmmnnn...how would you like a cookie taste like a brownie inside....

Look at the almonds..terrific taste with lots of chocolate chips.Those nuts are crunchy while the texture of every cookie is rich with chocolate taste, soft and chewy...not dry and without crumbs....

Thanks to you dear bloggers for wishing me well on my new found job.I am 42 years old and struggling back.Thanks...there are people like you...I may not know you all in person but I am sure that you are sincere,thoughtful and warm when you wish me well on my new perspective.The gift of blogging is such a profound joy...there are people who truly cares despite distance and personal touch..its the thought that counts.I would love you dear people to enjoy my newly baked Double Chocolate Chip Cookie...Lets eat,lets giggle and lets be merry.Have a great week to everyone. Thank you so much Chaya of My Meatless Monday and Bake With Bizzy for featuring my Banana Bread.You can check out her places, she cooks and she bakes...shes a mentor too.She welcomes me in her kitchen with warmth and kindness.

Gladly shared to: Simple Supper Tuesday Totally Tasty Tuesday Slightly Indulgent Tuesday Show Me What You Got Handmade Tuesdays Tuesdays Table Hearth and Soul Blog Hop Tuesday Trivia Tempt My Tummy How To Tuesday Tasty Tuesdays

Welcome to Kocina De PinayCome and join me in my blog as I discover the world of Filipino Fusion Cuisine.These are all tried and tested recipes in my kitchen, a fusion of cuisines that intrigues me and my palate.Everything I write, post and share is a product of my exploration, my research, and done in my kitchen. Please Come in. Enjoy and Have a nice stay. You are all welcome.